Stop, stop right here.
Don’t bother with this review. Just
go read a Robert Sheckley novel or collection.
Unless your expectations are so narrow as to want formulaic genre
material, the man’s writing cannot disappoint.
The wit, the humor, the wrestling with human nature, all in classic
science fictional settings and situations, is inimitable. Sheckley seeming to forever hover on the
fringes of reader awareness, his 1972 collection Can You Feel Anything When I Do This? is as good a place as any to
jump right in, wallow in the goodness, and become aware.
Humorous speculation on the nature of machine intelligence,
the title story opens the collection.
About an ordinary housewife who one day receives a mail-order robot
vacuum cleaner, Sheckley’s keen sense of humor tells a funny ‘romance’ that
makes the reader question the possibilities of AI. An absolutely hilarious story that channels
the style of Jack Vance in dialogue but with Sheckley’s cosmopolitan side
informing the backstory and plot movement, “Cordle to Onion to Carrot” tells of
an easily bullied man who finds his stride among stronger men after imbibing
some ‘wine of the gods’. Just hilarious. Going from borderline outrageous to quite
subdued, “The Petrified World” tells of a man concerned about his dreams. Visiting a psychologist, his metaphysical
questions are unanswerable, save for a procedure that gives him an entirely new
perspective on life.
A measure of indolence,
in “Game: First Schematic” a man
plays a game on a court with a ball—a game he seems to master, if his words can
be believed. But only if he wants to. In “Doctor Zombie and His Little Furry
Friends”, a man the locals call Dr. Zombie
attempts to maintain normal appearances while secretly concocting his answer to
the world's ills in a small house tucked away on the outskirts of Mexico City.
While outwardly nihilistic, beneath that dark facade lies a truth we are all
participant to, well intended or otherwise.
Seeming a take on the Tom Godwin story, “The Cruel Equations” is the humorous encounter between a spaceship
captain and the robot he set to guard the spaceship while he went for a stroll
on an alien planet. Having forgotten the password, the robot does not allow the captain
to enter the spaceship, that is, until... Very humorous story about the limitations and
dependence on machines, as well as the human expectation for something more. One of the few positive stories in the
collection, “The Same to You Doubled” is about a deal with the devil when everday man Joe Goldstein is offered
three wishes, on the conditions his worst enemy will get double whatever he
asks for. In the process, Goldstein learns
who his worst enemy is, and eventually how to set things up juuuust right… .
A quick, one-off, “Starting from Scratch” tells of an alien
visting a human and describing the destruction wrecked upon his homeworld by a
mighty pillar descending from the sky and sliding along the ground,
annihilating cities and towns in its path.
What the pillar turns out to be is the point of the story. Mild dystopia, “The Mnemone” tells of a
post-war future and the strange man who comes to town one day. Able to recite prose and verse from memory,
he is one of the only remaining links to classic literature, all written work having
been destroyed in the war. The townfolk
at first hesitant of his arrival, a change nevertheless comes. Condensed diversity education, “Notes on the
Perception of Imaginary Differences” tells of two prisoners, a German and a
Frenchman, who contrive to escape an unwitting guard by changing their
appearances. Their ploy eventually
successful, a problem arises after: who is who? Flash fiction, “Down the Digestive Tract and
into the Cosmos with Mantra, Tantra, and Specklebang” tells of a man’s first
LSD trip, but to where?
A very laid back story compared to LSD-alien antics, “Pas De
Trois of the Chef and the Waiter and the Customer” is about a chef in a small
Spanish town with only one customer.
Slowly honing in on the customer’s preferred dishes, he finds, much to
his chagrin, unintended results. The
waiter is not innocent in his role toward the man’s demise, but it’s only upon
hearing the customer’s side that everythying coalesces. In “Plague Circuit”, a time traveler visits
New York City, offering the cure to a plague epidemic sweeping the city. The biggest problem is not that New Yorkers
dismiss him for a crackpot, rather that there may not be a plague. Perhaps the most straight forward science
fiction story in the collection, “Tailpipe to Disaster” is about a first
officer of a military starship and his demanding captain. The first officer considered the best pilot
in the fleet, his talents are put to the test one day against an alien vessel. As nearly always, Sheckley saves his point for
the final page, which in this story at least amounts to a slight chuckle.
In the end, Can You
Feel Anything When I Do This? is another high quality collection from one
of the unheralded masters of science fiction.
Dripping with existential wit, singular imagination, and bouts of
humorously couched nihilism, the collection is representative of Sheckley’s
larger oeuvre as well as being highly enjoyable in its own right. For readers looking to engage with Sheckley,
this may even be a better starting point than his more often cited debut
collection Untouched by Human Hands
given that a more confident, focused, and mature Sheckley can be found. Personal favorites include “Cordle to Onion
to Carrot”, “Pas De Trois of the Chef and the Waiter and the Customer”, “Game:
First Schematic”, and the title story. But
given the variety, it’s highly possible you, dear reader, may have your own. Just go read Sheckley.
Can You Feel Anything
When I Do This? has been re-printed multiple times, each seemingly with its
own set and order of stories. The following are the sixteen collected in the
version I read:
Can You Feel Anything When I Do This?
Cordle to Onion to Carrot
The Petrified World
Game: First Schematic
Doctor Zombie and His Little Furry Friends
The Cruel Equations
The Same to You Doubled
Starting from Scratch
The Mnemone
Tripout
Notes on the Perception of Imaginary Differences
Down the Digestive Tract and Into the Cosmos with Mantra,
Tantra, and Specklebang
Pas De Trois of the Chef and the Waiter and the Customer
Aspects of Langranak
Plague Circuit
Tailpipe to Disaster
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