One
of the classes I'm teaching this semester is JSS100 - Job Search and
Success. It is certainly Chinese that I should be asked to teach first
year university students with no relevant education or work experience
how to write a resume and cover letter. With no other choice, I asked
them to search deep within themselves for professional experience and
character traits to fill a one page resume. This resulted in some
highly comical English. I hope they'll forgive me – I'm not making fun
of them individually, but taken at face value, the following "skills and
experience" noted in their resumes are too funny not to pass along.
(I've transcribed them word for word, letter for letter, and
punctuation mark for mark. I hope you’ll also forgive my comments, I
couldn’t resist.)
Have intelligent of brain
Good obesity of communication
I was judged by hardworking vanguard (This is the best proof any student offered me as to why I should hire them.)
Employee experience in business company (Well, I have no further questions.)
Can skilled use computer skills
Maked flash (Voyeur or photographer?)
proficient in collecting and giving off documents (Thank goodness it's not odors.)
spread knowledge and news
Good abinity of communication (The irony of this is, of course, entirely lost on the student.)
Can make something
Taken care of men in home for the aged senior's home
Be a operator at cram school
When I am child, I have worked as the farmer
I can cook food, I think delicious
Remembered and writted quickly (The irony, the irony…)
I have many strange and useful ways about administration (Shooting for the moon...)
Be calm when have suddenly things
I like the feel of shoot baskets and backboard (Valuable skill in any corporate sector.)
In my high school nobody hates me (Enough said, give that person a job!)
Work as a saler in a computer shop (Much better if this ended with "…on the Black Pearl.")
Help the people who is in the old yard
END of Part I
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