For its magic system, Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn books occupy a unique niche in
the market—something increasingly difficult to accomplish these days. Employing the idea of allomancy for action purposes, The Final Empire, the first book of Mistborn,
saw the rise of a rebellion and toppling of the ruling power. The dialogue wooden, Sanderson was
nevertheless able to pull off a mainstream work of genre that capitalized on a
hero’s story. Yet more to be told in
Vin’s story, Sanderson followed up The
Final Empire a year later with The
Well of Ascension (2007). Dialogue
only more stilted, plot heavily contrived, and the overall narrative bogged
down with high school romances and statements of the obvious, perhaps Sanderson
would have been better off leaving the young woman’s story at a single volume.
Set one year after The Final Empire, The Well of
Ascension opens with Vin playing the role of bodyguard to Elend, now king
of Luthadel and the surrounding Dominances.
A man dubbed the Watcher mysteriously keeping tabs on Vin’s late night
thwarting of assassination attempts, a greater threat rests outside the city:
Elend’s father, King Straff, and his massive army. Meanwhile, Sazed wanders the countryside and
amongst the skaa, gathering information.
Encountering dead bodies seemingly killed by the mist, he has a whole
new mystery to unravel, one helped by the uncovering of a sacred text. The plot elements stewing for some time, they
eventually triangulate on Luthadel, the city and character’s fates hanging in
the balance.
Allomancy is a unique idea, and Sanderson is
certainly aware. Numerous mini-battles
using the metallurgy are staged to entertaining effect. What Sanderson doesn’t seem to be aware of,
however, is how to present his ace in the hole: the actions scenes are snowed
under with its usage. “Now Vin burns
copper so she can keep an eye out on emotions, and now she pushes steel to
bounce here, now she pulls steel to change direction, now Vin wishes she had
some atium so she could see the future..” is only the beginning of a normal
midnight jaunt for Vin. In other scenes,
including both action-oriented and quotidian, matters get bogged down with the
repetitive minutiae describing the very idea which makes the story unique. Readers are told innumerable times each
metal’s use. Having established the idea
in The Final Empire, it’s as if
Sanderson doesn’t trust his readers, and re-establishes the workings a hundred
times thereafter.
Making matters worse is that without a driving force
behind the narrative to engage the reader (in The Final Empire’s it was the hero’s story), many of Sanderson’s
faults as a writer are laid bare. While
some may consider the following dialogue good storytelling, it’s equally
possible to consider it unchallenging, even excruciatingly crude:
“Nobody
sent assassins to kill bodyguards. Assassins killed important men. Men like
Elend Venture, king of the Central Dominance. The man she loved.
"It's
not about trust. It's about what's right. We spent a thousand years fighting
off the Lord Ruler—if I do things the same way he did, then what will be the
difference?"
Vin turned
and looked him in the eyes. "The Lord Ruler was an evil man. You're a good
one. That's the difference."”
The exact opposite of subtle, it reads like a
trailer for a B-movie romantic epic.
(Just imagine the deep baritone of the movie trailer guy reading the
excerpt above and a smile will creep onto your face.)
But beyond juvenile romance and contrived plot
development, there are additional concerns regarding the narrative. The following serves as an example of the tell-not-show
techniques employed:
“As he
approached the ground, Sazed tapped his pewtermind, drawing forth a tiny bit of
strength to prepare. He hit the ground—but, because his body was so light,
there was very little shock. He barely even needed to bend his knees to absorb
the force of impact.
He stopped
filling the ironmind, released his pewter, and waited quietly for Marsh.
Beside him, the carrying cage lay in shambles. Sazed
noticed several broken iron shackles with discomfort. Apparently, some of those
who had visited the Conventical had not come by choice.
If it was not apparent from the first excerpt, than
the second makes clear Sanderson’s opinion of the reader’s ability to
comprehend his story. He. Holds. The.
Reader’s. Hand. Every. Step. Of. The. Way. Describing. Every. Possible. Nuance.
Just. In. Case. They. Didn’t. Catch. Some. Fact. Or. Forgot. What. Happened.
One. Page. Ago. The text is a barrage of
winks, nods, reminders, and statements of the obvious. The usage of “to prepare”, “the ground”,
“very”, “even”, “force of”, and “Apparently” above, for example, is
redundant, superfluous, unnecessary, gratuitous, excessive, uncalled for—you
get the point. But this is minor. More concerning is the continual reiteration
of what is ostensibly clear. As if “…because
his body was so light, there was very little shock” was not obvious enough,
Sanderson adds the line about knee bending.
As if the significance of the shackles was not clear, he adds the last
sentence “Apparently, some… had not come
by choice.” Not a page goes by in
the book when such redundant lines do not crop up, leading to an overburdened,
unpolished narrative that defies the idea of economy.
In the end, The
Well of Ascension is a weak follow up to The Final Empire. With only
frail sub-plots bonding the book together, the problems at large become more
apparent, and in fact, overburden what could have been a good story. In the hands of a more skilled craftsman, the
removal of several layers of transparency (not an oxymoron in this text’s case)
could have rendered a tale that engages the reader at different levels. It would still be readily accessible, but the
degree of intrigue would undoubtedly increase, as would the willingness to
suspend disbelief in the face of such immature character interaction, e.g. the
romance, the handling of armies, etc. As
it stands, The Well of Ascension is a
novel most concerned with the integrity of its magic system, but little
else. Plot, setting, and character are
as flat and mired as can be.
I could find no place in the review for the
following quote. But given its
representative qualities, I wanted to include it somewhere. Without further
ado, here is Sanderson’s version of high school student—I mean, serious epic
fantasy character—banter.
"Close enough," Vin said, walking forward.
"She was bubbling to the servants about how hot her bath needed to be, and
making certain they wrote down her favorite foods."
Breeze
sighed. "That's Allrianne. We'll probably have to get a new pastry chef—either
that, or have desserts ordered in. She's rather particular about her
pastries."
"Allrianne Cett is the daughter of Lord Cett," Elend explained
as Vin—ignoring the chairs—sat on the edge of a planter beside his chair,
laying a hand on his arm. "Apparently, she and Breeze are something of an
item."
"Excuse me?" Breeze huffed.
Vin,
however, wrinkled her nose. "That's disgusting, Breeze. You're old. She's
young."
"There was no relationship," Breeze snapped. "Besides,
I'm not that old—nor is she that young."
"She
sounded like she was about twelve," Vin said.
Breeze
rolled his eyes.
The huffing, sighing, snapping, flushing, eye
rolling… Pure drivel.
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