Not as funny as the their resumes (found here: Part I, Part II, Part III), nonetheless here are some quotes from my Chinese students' cover letters, the former McDonald's waiter taking the cake. (Certainly Google’s translator was working overtime for these assignments.)
"I believe I can become a successful to this society. So, I want to get this job. Please give it to me. I will return you a surprise!"
"When services the computer, exchanges the computer better operating procedure and the maintenance method with the technical personnel."
"I thinking work in an organization can contribute much better to a better understanding of the solutions of the question and problem."
"In spite of being very busy thanks you read my resume, gave me one time to advance to the successful opportunity! Chang Ting some people sighed with emotion some good luck to arriver causes him on with the before dissimilar life. What but I thought: He the day has now all are the results which actually strive for diligently."
"I am sincere and trustworthy person is the basic norms"
"I think I can apply you company require and I will work Well."
"Pass all the subjects." (On his resume, this student listed a GPA of 1.8 out of 4.0.)
"Have helped plan some minor cases, the successes of which have failed so from the benefits."
"Work on KFC for a half year. I only clean table and pull the floor. It was not very tired. I think it was well. So I worked there for a few time."
"Assistant superrisor IN McDonald's Wuxi – Fire potato chips"
"I graducated from Lambton College, my specialty are Financing and Banking."
"Work experience AS a waiter in McDonald (2 weeks, no pay, write menu, carry things, dancing outside the door)"
"Worked as a typist in a company for two months in the summer holiday. It's very busy over there, but I keep unremitting."
And finally, one girl whose cover letter needs to be included in its entirety:
"I want to go to a company. The company called Calvin Klein.
I am a gril. I like fashion very much. In the every day life I always watch tv or surfing the Intrnet to look the everything of fashion.
I most like prfume. I know more and more kinds of perfume, I not only know the kinds, but I also know the efficacy of them.
I think if I join some cultivate the regular. I think I will overall know the knowledge of perfume. I also love this work very much, if I get this job, I will do the best."
"Play vollege" and "Dress myself" were the skills this student felt pertinent enough to list on her resume.